April 13, 2011
Jacobisms:
When he wants to do something later, he says, "Ga-cob do it next later."
I asked him today if he had a poop. He said, "No." There was a slight pause. Then, "Smells like it." Because I always doublecheck by smelling his butt, and I tell him that exact phrase. Haha!
While Jacob was not napping today, I took a little time to look up patterns online and whatnot. It is easy for me to feel somewhat lazy when I see what some other people (read: moms) do in their "spare" time. I don't know how I'll get to a space when I have motivation after Jacob is sleeping at night to do so many things. I know I will get there and that it will seem normal at the time. I just can't always see it at this point. That being said, I am feeling more inspired by what I see others doing (sewing, crafting, etc) as well as what I'd like to do. I remember doing different sewing projects in the past: a quilt, jeans into a skirt, napkins. All without patterns. I mentioned this same feeling yesterday on my blog; a feeling of being intimidated by... something in my new role. Instead of just knowing that I can do things I look to others who can do things better for direction. Not that there's anything wrong with getting ideas from others. But also, there's listening to myself as well. Thinking up projects on my own and doing what makes me happy. I felt happy a lot today so it's a good place from which to start.
When he wants to do something later, he says, "Ga-cob do it next later."
I asked him today if he had a poop. He said, "No." There was a slight pause. Then, "Smells like it." Because I always doublecheck by smelling his butt, and I tell him that exact phrase. Haha!
While Jacob was not napping today, I took a little time to look up patterns online and whatnot. It is easy for me to feel somewhat lazy when I see what some other people (read: moms) do in their "spare" time. I don't know how I'll get to a space when I have motivation after Jacob is sleeping at night to do so many things. I know I will get there and that it will seem normal at the time. I just can't always see it at this point. That being said, I am feeling more inspired by what I see others doing (sewing, crafting, etc) as well as what I'd like to do. I remember doing different sewing projects in the past: a quilt, jeans into a skirt, napkins. All without patterns. I mentioned this same feeling yesterday on my blog; a feeling of being intimidated by... something in my new role. Instead of just knowing that I can do things I look to others who can do things better for direction. Not that there's anything wrong with getting ideas from others. But also, there's listening to myself as well. Thinking up projects on my own and doing what makes me happy. I felt happy a lot today so it's a good place from which to start.
So, no nap today. Instead, we got some jobs done.
We got to hang out and a have a nice little dinner together, just the two of us. Fraser was working late on a deadline. It was kind of nice, though. After Jacob was done, I was still eating and we're working on him staying at the table longer while other people finish eating. The first thing he thinks of and wants to do is play I Spy. This has become a traditional dinner time game. He's good at it.
Had an early bath and bed time. The golden evening light was hanging in his room as I read him his two books. Even though he still asked for "one more" he was falling asleep on me. His eyes were shut and he was pretty much out as I laid him in bed. That hasn't happened in a long time. Recently, no matter when we put him down, he's up there talking, jumping and playing music till 9. So, tonight was wonderful. I went to take out my contacts and heard what sounded like rain on the roof. The sun was shining feebly but yes, there was a lot of rain falling. I looked out the back window to see if I could catch a rainbow but nothing. Somehow, the release of rain from this one cloud, even with blue sky showing, mirrored my own feelings after having put Jacob to bed. He brings me such joy, and we had such a lovely evening together. And that big sigh of relief that fills my body when I know he's down for the night is like nothing else, a celebration of quietude and the pleasure of relaxation. Ahhh....
The feeling was probably pronounced due to Fraser's absence as well. I love him dearly with my whole being. And it's still nice to have some quiet time with just myself. That doesn't happen often for either of us these days, I suppose. I have different evenings when Fraser isn't here. Usually I'm more productive. But it's on things that I just like doing: stamping, writing, pondering my own inner thoughts and feelings. When he's here my attention is still outwardly focused on another person. Different than with Jacob but similar also. I like me so it's pleasurable being with just me.
Tonight I cut my fingernails. I like them kind of long and used to hate that first feeling when I shortened them by a lot. But these days, I'm really enjoying them. There's nothing like the feeling of the keyboard underneath my fingertips after my nails are shortened. I feel everything and can type so much faster without feeling the tips of my nails catch on the other keys. Ah, the simple (tactile) pleasures in life.
Had an early bath and bed time. The golden evening light was hanging in his room as I read him his two books. Even though he still asked for "one more" he was falling asleep on me. His eyes were shut and he was pretty much out as I laid him in bed. That hasn't happened in a long time. Recently, no matter when we put him down, he's up there talking, jumping and playing music till 9. So, tonight was wonderful. I went to take out my contacts and heard what sounded like rain on the roof. The sun was shining feebly but yes, there was a lot of rain falling. I looked out the back window to see if I could catch a rainbow but nothing. Somehow, the release of rain from this one cloud, even with blue sky showing, mirrored my own feelings after having put Jacob to bed. He brings me such joy, and we had such a lovely evening together. And that big sigh of relief that fills my body when I know he's down for the night is like nothing else, a celebration of quietude and the pleasure of relaxation. Ahhh....
The feeling was probably pronounced due to Fraser's absence as well. I love him dearly with my whole being. And it's still nice to have some quiet time with just myself. That doesn't happen often for either of us these days, I suppose. I have different evenings when Fraser isn't here. Usually I'm more productive. But it's on things that I just like doing: stamping, writing, pondering my own inner thoughts and feelings. When he's here my attention is still outwardly focused on another person. Different than with Jacob but similar also. I like me so it's pleasurable being with just me.
Tonight I cut my fingernails. I like them kind of long and used to hate that first feeling when I shortened them by a lot. But these days, I'm really enjoying them. There's nothing like the feeling of the keyboard underneath my fingertips after my nails are shortened. I feel everything and can type so much faster without feeling the tips of my nails catch on the other keys. Ah, the simple (tactile) pleasures in life.
My motivation for getting crafty stuff done is that I sell it. There is a distinct timeline for when stuff needs to be finished and in the mail, so it gets done whether I want to do it or not. A lot of times it's when Grace is napping or in bed for the night. Usually I do craft projects in lieu of housework, so if I have a lot of onesies or whatever, usually the house is a mess. There really is only so much time in the day. I do try to remind myself that being creative is probably more important than attempting to keep up with the neverending flow of dishes and laundry...
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