Day 125: A third of a year

January 29, 2011

Well, we've been in Portland for a third of a year at this point. Seems like a very long time in some ways. In others, short. Lots of areas still feel new to me here and will for awhile. But I also have a much larger comfort zone than when first arriving. People and places to visit as well as things to do. I've been looking at pictures to order and seeing our old house, the snow covered backyard, mountains.... all this makes me lonely for a place that means so much to me. Here is nice and will continue to expand, but my heart still resides in Colorado.

We took a family trip to the park this morning. Jacob rode his little bike all the way there. He was a little daredevil today on the slides. First, it was just going down sitting up. Then he wanted to try head first. Fine. He loved it. Next level, head first, backwards. Right. He just laid down and pushed off with his little feet, no fear. He enjoyed it. The slide even had a curve in it that seemed to bump his head a little. Not phased. This might foreshadow trouble in a few years.

Came home and he had a total fit. He wanted cookies for lunch. I said no, not without something else first. And that was that. Another good reason to not have any of those things around the house. This is how I stay skinny (that and fantastic genes). He was still having those little uncontrollable, shaky breaths when I put him in his bed. Sad, yes. 

I hate the battles, and I know they've just begun. Where's the line between making a point and pushing it beyond his limits? I know kids understand way more than most people (read: adults) give them credit for. And yet, they also are run by emotions and get totally hysterical and then, is my point really making the impression I'm after? Meanwhile, I just exhausted from going to battle so many times a day: diaper changes, meals, bath time, how many books we can read, not jumping on the couch, etc. Oh, defining boundaries. I know why it's so easy to let them slide; it's constant work to set them and hold them. And once I start second guessing myself, he can tell and then, the struggle gets even worse. But I don't always know that my answer is the "right" one. The times I'm sure aren't the problem. It's the in between times, when I'm questioning things as well. Aaahhh.... to be a parent. The lessons I still have to learn. The challenges my children will help me face. It is, and always shall be, an adventure.

Then there are the times like this that just make me pause:
As Jacob is eating his yogurt the other day, he tells me that his spoon is a lever. I have to think about it for a bit before I realize, he's right. You push on the handle and up lifts the yogurt. Wow. I can thank the Berenstain Bears' Science Fair for that knowledge.