Day 341

September 2, 2011


Nearing the end of my trip. Trying to soak it all in before the return to Portland. 


Picked up my new CD today! It sounds very nice. I'm very excited about it. Jacob loved it to. I put in on in the car and it definitely had a soothing effect. 


Went to Tif's pool with the boys: Dylan, Trayton and Jacob. Such fun! Gab, Paula and Lauren all came by with their kids too. It was a crazy fun time, poolside.


Got to watch a football practice of the boys. They had one game while I was there but it was on Saturday during the wedding. It was nice to see them dressed in their pads and helmets and doing some football moves. It's amazing how big they are now and how much they're doing. It's great.


Finally, we went over to Gab's house for a bit. A quick mudslide and apple martini while we burned my new CD to her computer and the kids played. It felt (almost) like old times, minus all the kids running around. It was just really nice to hang out with her at her house and just do... that. 

Day 340

September 1, 2011

This morning I went to my friend Scott's house to make another kids' album. I did one years ago when the boys were little and have wanted to make another one for awhile now. This seemed as good a time as any. It was very fun. A little scary at first, remembering when to breath and how to just relax and sing. Scott's great, though, and we got into it nicely. Very fun. I enjoy music a lot and would love to have more in my life. 

Jacob was over at Gab's while I made my album. They were all having the time of their lives. Fantastic. I know I don't have to worry about anything when she's in charge. 

Tonight was happy hour with Jenny and Paula - sans the boy! Kamuran was (happily) babysitting. Yes, and giving my child all kinds of stuff to eat: spaghetti o's, marshmallows, Lucky Charms, chocolate milk. Alright, to be fair he didn't give Jacob all that in one night. Just the spaghetti o's and marshmallows. But really, Kamuran's another person that I trust entirely with Jacob. He just likes to try and get his influence in with Jacob just like I did with his boys. 

My time with the girls was so... filling. Just another thing that filled up my soul, recharged me after being depleted from my time in Portland. Not that it's horrible, just that it's.... different. And work lots of times. So, yeah, really great to be with the girls. We talked about Paula's wedding and life and all sorts of wonderful things. I do have some amazing people in my life for which I am very, very grateful.

After Jenny dropped me off at Kamuran's, we did start a fire. Jacob didn't want anything to do with the cooked marshmallows, just the plain ones. He enjoyed the whole experience, for sure. And he had a hard time going to bed. Not because of the marshmallows, I don't think. Just because he wanted someone to be next to him the whole time. Kamuran went down first, then me, then Kamuran again. Finally, he was out. Too funny. He definitely has some stamina. Kamuran and I got to hang out, too, and reminisce about old times. Can't believe it's been so long - eight and a half years. Wow. Crazy how time does that. Good reminder not to waste it on things that aren't really important. To really spend it on what you want to.

Day 339

August 31, 2011

Went to see our friends, Michelle and Ander this morning. Ander and Jacob are the same age, and now he has a little brother too. Really great to see them. Again, too short! But the boys had a good time, overall, playing together. There were a couple moments, naturally, with sharing. That's a tough one. But once we got the water table out and they both got naked, everything was great for them. Haha... perfect. 

I headed to my first (can you believe it?!) happy hour with Tif and her other Jill friend. Jacob was tolerant but not totally into it. He was more interested in playing. He patiently waited for us to hang out for a bit and then we went over to the rocks for him. They have changed them a bit but were still very fun. The only thing that freaked me out was that Jacob wanted to do everything some of the bigger kids were doing, including jumping off high rocks. Thankfully he also realized that that was not the best idea and would wait for my help.

It was nice to be downtown again. So little and cute and walkable. Portland is very cool but so much bigger too which has it's good aspects and not as good ones.

Tiffany dropped us off back at Kamuran's and Jacob got to run around half naked for awhile. It was great to see him playing in the yard like that, chasing after their dog, Luna. It took me back (not for the last time) to when the boys were little and they would run around like that. Sigh... very interesting to look back on all that now. The other night Trayton said, "I wish I was younger again. I liked being younger better." Kamuran asked why and Trayton replied, "Because Jill was around all the time. Jill was so fun!" That just made my heart so happy. I miss being able to see those guys more often, for sure. I'm glad to know that I'm still important to them because they sure are to me still.

Day 338

August 30, 2011

Stopped by old house this morning to check on things and give the lease to the tenants. Things look really good. They've done lots of weeding in the gardens, added mulch, put in another raised bed. Inside they've done lots of repainting and have really made it their own space. They're very happy there which is great for us. 

 Being there reminded me of all the things that I'm glad I don't have to deal with: all the little broken things, poorly sealed things, strange bathroom issues and the very intimidating backyard. I miss some aspects of being back there (the beautiful mountain view being one of them) but definitely not others! 

Went next door to visit Cindy. I do miss her and being able to go over and have heart to heart chats a lot. It was great to see her and catch up briefly. All to brief, really. We were running into Jacob's nap time so couldn't stay too long. 

Fraser had to go back tonight. Definitely hard for both of us but more for him. Going back to a place he doesn't enjoy, alone and knowing that crazy work awaits him. Not very pleasant. Sad to see him go, for sure. It seems like we just got here. We've packed a lot in but always knew it wasn't going to be enough time.

Day 337

August 29, 2011

I went to a jazz class this morning. I used to take it when I lived in Boulder. Oh, so fun. Just dancing and moving my body to fun music with others who are enjoying the same thing - it just filled me up with joy. 

Lauren stopped by with her little girl, Leah. She was born right after we left town so she's almost a year. Very cute. It was great to see Lauren, too. We were so excited to be stay-at-home moms together because she lives so close and because we're friends. Alas...  

After naptime we stopped at another old neighbour's house who we didn't get to see the other night. They have a little boy about five months younger than Jacob. That was fun. The neighbourhood was hopping - we saw everyone out and about as we were getting ready to leave. It felt just like old times - almost.

Another BBQ this evening, this time at James'. It was great to see James. I know Fraser missed him a lot. 

Some of James' friends have two boys, one a little older and one Jacob's age. The younger one, Liam, and Jacob were enjoying some dirt play. They really were getting along well. Sometimes kids just hit it off and mellow each other out, sometimes the opposite. This was great. Then they went inside to "play" pool, asking each other if he wanted a ball and rolling the balls into pockets. So cute. I love seeing kids interacting, using those things we're trying to teach them, like dialogue. So great! 

Day 336

August 28, 2011

Gab and the kids came over and Kamuran set up a very cool water slide/pool. Good times. And refreshing! 

At nap time, Fraser headed out to a Cigar Festival and our friend Tiffany came over for some beer and girl time. How lovely was that! Oh, how I miss it. It was so great to catch up and hang out and just chill with someone who knows me and has known me and who I love so dearly. Wonderful.

An impromptu Bbq at Jenny and Ethan's this evening. Jacob was after Emma and her girlfriend, Violet. I don't think they minded a little boy tagging along. And he was just thrilled to be at Emma's house again. Very sweet. Meanwhile, I got to partake in a refreshing margarita and some delicious wings and home grown veggies. I'm just trying to soak it all up...

Day 335

August 27, 2011


The wedding was this morning. Very pretty day, wonderful, intimate setting. It was a small wedding, and I was really honoured to be a part of it. They had a "sand ceremony" where they took sand from where they were each from (New Jersey and North Carolina) and put it together with sand from Colorado. It symbolized them as individuals coming together and, over time, will show how they blend and create a unique family. I thought that was cool.

Jacob has been a bit cracked out, asking to go back home or back to Kamuran's. We've just been on the go constantly since getting here. One thing after another. It's not surprising just not always fun to deal with. But once we get wherever we're going, he has a great time. At the wedding, he was playing with  Emma, who was just great with him. They were playing on a "stage rock", as she called it. He was loving it. She would come over and say, "My cousin Jacob loves to copy me." And he sure did. It was cute.

After nap time, we headed back to our old neighbourhood for a BBQ. WHAT fun! I do miss having such an amazing group of neighbours. To have such strong community on a block is so great. The kids were all over Jacob and vice versa. From the time we got there to the time all the kids left, I think he talked to me for ten minutes. Wow. And I didn't have to say anything to the kids the whole time. They were great with him. It gave us a chance to talk to the grownups. The food was amazingly delicious: wild Alaskan salmon that one of our neighbours caught, fresh veggie dishes from gardens, a raspberry tart and chocolate cake with Kahlua sauce. So good. I will say I appreciate having a couple moms in Portland who I feel are more my peers instead of mentors, which I tend to feel a little bit of with the moms back here. And I will say that I miss the activity and sense of community from this area. I've never lived in a place where everyone is so... around and involved. I miss that a lot.